Emails (and alternatives) - and social media in profile texts

It pains me that I have to write this, as in the past there were fewer scammers and users were more appreciative/respectful of what the site offers, but over the last years the issue has increased - so I have to address it before it snowballs further and users broadly start to think it is 'okay' behavior;

As I see it, if you - as a new user - are trying to include an email address (or other alternative contact means) or aggressively ask others to give you their contact details, then either you are a scammer (trying to take conversation off the site) - or you already know the site and have had good response here before, and you are trying to 'bypass' the message limitation.

If you consistently need more messages than the free option allow then maybe you should consider supporting the site ?

You should also realize, that this practice sends a signal to other users about you - if you won't invest 16 cents a day for a service that appears to have value for you or to continue conversation with someone you genuinely find interesting, then you might not come across as the type that will invest toward any kind of possible relation. Over the years quite a few supporting users have asked if there was a way to identify if someone else was a supporter, as they preferred contact with 'fellow supporters' - I have always been against this, because I believe it will be a negative spiral (new non-supporting users would get fewer or no messages, so why would they use or consider supporting the site then ?)

The message system is there to protect you as a user, it allows you to make contact and get a feel for someone before giving out private information or meeting up - at a pace you (both) feel comfortable with. And it also allows my systems to detect systematic / fraudant use. And yes, it is also a parameter to 'encourage' supporting the site.

(Supporting users can list their email address if they want - but I strongly recommend against it to avoid spam and frauds)

In any case, I've had enough of spending time sifting through new profiles, trying to find out if a new 'email profile' is a scam profile or 'just' violating terms - so such profiles will be removed going forward.

Why no social media allowed on profiles ? - in short; this is a personal contact site, it is not an advertising board for you to 'boost your socials' (and it is another method frequently used by scammers to take conversation off the site)

I feel the site offers a lot for free (actually financed by supporting users!) - and at a very reasonable fee for supporters, so please respect the rules (it *is* a violation of the terms of use for the site to attempt to bypass features of the site)

Sorry about the rant, and I'd like to end with a *thank you* to all you guys that *do* support - or have supported the site!

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